As Oscar Wilde said "Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you." I cannot help but agree with what he said. Whilst we cannot do without material riches, we cannot live life without enriching our souls.

In my childhood days, being brought up in a family where money was scarce, I have always envied those with the latest doll and story book collection. Those thing were never within my reach and I yearned for them. I would always think that if I could ever have them, I would be the richest, happiest girl on earth. Riches then, was to have those dolls and books.

As life move on to teenage years, my desires for riches changed. I wanted money for those beautiful clothes and Levi jeans that my friends had. I wanted to be able to spend a day shopping and going to the movies with friends. It was all about dollars and cents and I made a vow to myslef then to work very hard to achieve those goals. taking on extra jobs during the school holidays and starting work immediately after my 'O' levels were my way of achieving what I wanted.

During the course of pursuing what I wanted, I realised that knowledge and education was a very important key to the money I wanated. Without these, earnings would be meager and maybe just sufficient for basic survival. Hence, I set out to pursue education relentlessly on a part-time basis whilst I worked to make sure that enough was set aside for the futre family that I were to have one day.

Owning branded material and memberships to clubs and gyms also became a bench mark of my achievements and worth. My definition of wealth was still in terms of dollars and cents but with the addition of knowledge and education.

After years of working for money for the sake of material objects and social status, things took a change when I started my own family. Clubs, memberships and branding took a back seat. My family and children became the most important assets, whilst money is still important, it was for a very different reason now. The need for money was to provide well for the family and the children's education. It no longer serves as a bench mark of what we can acquire but what we can provide for the future generation.

Today, I measure wealth and riches with my family, my children's achievements, my knowledge and experience - an asset that no one can take away from me. I now pursue a different kind of wealth from when I was much younger. I pursue what is intangible - I seek to thank God for making me the richest woman on earth and I seek to be able to to pay it forward to society soon and help those in need. For without all these, my soul would be empty and poor.


Let me be a morsel of your memories.





Its been a month after my operation and I am still in pain (a different pain from pre-op). My worst post operation pain came last nite. It was so bad, that the room was spinning around even when I try lying down in bed. Even now, I can feel the pain at the back of my head like thousands of needles jabbing at the same spot continuously.

I finally got Wendy her Angels Ray... Haha... This time there is no chance for her to reject it because we got Agnes to log in and scrolled in for her. This is the first time I get my Maple character to such a level and its all thanks to some very close friends. Maple should be played this way, with no pressure and no one trying to spoil the fun for you just because they themselves cannot get what they want. I feel sad that there are still so many who do it that way. Pushing their luck and expecting others to respect them when they themselves don't respect others.

Be it game or otherwise, I think we all need to give each other some respect and not take friends for granted. Be considerate for others before we spew what we wanna say and then expecting others to accept it and not be sensitive to what was said. Many a times, what we say could cause a tsunami at the other end of the line for others even if we don't intend it that way. Therefore, it is always good that we can think a little ahead and see if what we do or say will cause any one any distress or pain.


Let me be a morsel of your memories.





A friend in need is a friend indeed. Indeed I see these in my true friend, Wendy. Whilst alot of friends pay lip services, she has made me her responsibility whenever Vic is busy with work. In the midst of her own commitments and obligations, she offered to accompany me to the doctor to have my dressing changed yesterday morning after her bible study and even seeing me back home after that. She has even offered to come over and make lunch for me today. Friends like these are rare and hard to come by.

Although I must say that my dressing was wonderfully done by an experienced nurse at Raffles Medical Centre on Sunday, I can't say the same for yesterday's. It was terrible and painful. Firstly, I was very sure the nurse reeked of tobacco. At such close proximity, I could smell it in her clothes and perhaps even her hands. Secondly, she was really heavy handed. Her cleaning was harsh that I let out a small cry when she touched the very centre of the surgical site and told her to go easy on it. Then she stretched the waterproof dressing so tightly over the site that I felt like I was being strangled a few minutes later and the surrounding area was all red and sore when I got back home.

Wendy suggested that we went back to the clinic for a re-dressing but I decided not to. Instead, I went to the pharmacy, got some water proof dressing over the counter, came back home and re-did the dressing myself. I think I did a better job at that then that particular nurse at the clinic. I was also able to let the wound air a little before covering it up again.

Labels: ACDF, Anterior Cervical Disectomy and Replacement

Let me be a morsel of your memories.





Today is the 4th day after my Cervical Disc replacement operation. Thanks to all the friends out there praying for me, I made it through uneventfully.

After being plagued by headaches, pain and weakness on the right side for the past 2 years or so, it is finally over. Three weeks ago, I was suddenly taken over by intense pain when I try to turn my head in either direction and was not able to function at all. It was then I decided, there is no more time to wait. I either do the surgery or live in pain and inability to carry out daily activites such as driving or reading.

We started an urgent wild goose hunt of doctors and surgeons renowned for carrying out similiar procedures, finally deciding that I was still more comfortable and confident with the doctors at SGH who have seen me for the condition since it was first discovered. A date was quickly set for three days later, the 23rd of July 2009. I was scared the hell out of my wits although I did not say so about it.

Millions of thoughts were running through my head. What if I don't make it through? What if I came out of it paralysed on the upper body? What if I suffered a stroke or heart attack on the operating table? What if...... so many other complications could arise.... But, I know I owe my husband and two beautiful daughters that much to go through it and come out of it well enough to fulfill my role and their friend, mother and wife.

On Thursday morning, both my girls decided to skip school so that they could accompany me for admission and see me into the operating theater. Then, I asked GOD to make sure that he laid HIS hands upon me and made sure that I came out of it safely. I asked that my daughters' and husband's hopes should not be shattered.

A few hours later, all was over and I spent the next 24 hours in a high dependency room for observation.

Right now, the only pain I feel is on the open wound and the occassional bleeding when I cough or sneeze.


Let me be a morsel of your memories.





The day has finally come when I can no longer take the pain or the inconvenience that my condition has been causing me. I will be on the operating table tomorrow to have the affected disc removed and hopefully replaced with an artificial movable joint. This will depend on the surgeon after he has cut me open and decides that he has a good enough view to put in a movable joint. Otherwise, it will be ADCF or in other words fusion of C5 and C6 with an artificial non-movable joint.

I have been putting this option away for a long time because of the possible danger of further damage to the nerves and paralysis. However, it has reached the point where pain dictates my choice.

For the past three weeks, I have not been able to move around much. Even turning and lifting my head caused impeding pain. Worst of all, I have had to let Claire come home by bus from school on her own as I can't drive. It has being like I was imprisoned in my own home except for the visits to the hospitals and doctors.

Damned the phone that just rang. I will be the first little piggie on the operating table tomorrow morning. I thought I was mentally prepared for it, but I am now shaking with fear inside me.

Ohh well.... come what may tomorrow, I will leave my fate in YOUR hands, Lord. I may be in fear, but I know that YOU will not forsake me at this hour when I need YOU the most. I pray that you see me throught this operation smoothly and my soul to keep if it were to go wrong. Give me the courage and strength that I need to face this.

Hear, O Lord, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. Guard my life, for I am devoted to you. You are my GOD; save your servant who trusts in you. - Psalms 86:1-2


Let me be a morsel of your memories.





Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to GOD the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ...

I testify to the Lord for what he has done for me. In my darkest hour, he sent WeiSheng to me. Don't get me wrong. WeiSheng sent me a 40 minutes sermon that God is searching for us, that we must put him back on the throne and set all things else before him. This enforces what I heard from Reinhart Bonke in GNS.

I have been putting all my worries about the maid and my exams above him, they have taken over his throne. I listened to the sermon again this morning and saw my mistakes. I decided then to dedicate some time to praying and searching for him instead of worrying. I sit him back on the throne and set my worries and myself on the altar for him.

HE answered my prayer, HE accepted my sufferings, HE set things right for me almost instantly.

I don't know how else to thank and praise HIM for his hand upon me. HE gave me the strength to Glorify him and lifted me up in my darkest, coldest moment.


Let me be a morsel of your memories.





Lord, Please give me strength for this day so that I may glorify You. Forgive me for judging and lashing out in anger. Help me to see others as You see them. Help me to be loving and understanding at this time so that others may see You in me and be brought into Your flock. Give me courage to do what is right and to share Your word. Give us hope in this trial and send healing from above. Lord, you are my strength when I am weak.

All these I ask of the Lord in this time of despair and desparation. I am at my wits ends and crumbling to the ground. Lord, lift me back on my feet and light my way so that I may not stumble and fall again... I beg you Lord, Almighty God on High...


Let me be a morsel of your memories.